bonafidebrother

[There's a long moment before he shakes his head.]

It never hurt. If we died, Mother brought us back. If other people died, we forgot them. We did what we were told and never really questioned why. I realize now that we didn't grow up like other children did, why I didn't see them as my siblings. It was because we were told to live together so we did. We all thought of her as a Mother but were distant with each other. We were supposed to be able to keep going after one of us fell - to not be attached.

[Ace looks up at the sky.]

Maybe it had to hurt for us to understand. To grow into being people and not just tools. [Without Izana, he might not have changed. A part of him would have always been kind but Ace is not the same person he once was.

He looks back at Izana.]

Living should hurt sometimes. It shouldn't feel the same day after day.

[ It's Izana's turn to let his hood hide his face. ]

Didn't dying itself hurt, even if it didn't last? [ Voice hollow. ] I know mine did. And I only did it once.

But yeah. Living's supposed to hurt. It just sometimes hurts too much, but if that's what you need, all right.

[ He swallows down, just don't think it's easy to see. This is not about him, after all. Well, it is, but ... it's also not. ]

But I'll say it again. It wasn't your fault.

What do you think you should learn from it? [ ...beat. ] Also... will you help me load him up on Chichiri, so we can all get out of the rain?

[He shrugs.]

Not really. [Not like it had the last time.] It was usually quick. Conscious and fighting one second and dead the next. Then Mother would revive us good as new when we got to a town.

I don't want to be numb.

[Even though Ace knows he was sad after Izana's death, it was because they'd been friends. His first friend. But he hadn't felt that way when other people died - people he'd only known but didn't form a stronge bond with.]

Not sure, honestly. [That people shouldn't be forgotten after death, maybe. To really feel that sorrow when someone dies.] I borrowed a cart from one of the shopkeepers.

[Ace hadn't wanted to put Machina on top of Chichiri. Not without knowing how much the added crystal weighs.]

Oh! A cart'd be even better. Right, Chichiri?

Kweh!

And... I'm glad it didn't hurt much, for you. [ It would have been so bad, wouldn't it, if it hurt that much every time? ] But I think we can work on not being numb, then. Find things that make it not so.

Though I can guarantee, hurting and being upset is not the only way to not be numb. So don't limit yourself.

[ Izana has definitely bounced up from the first crash with the news, with seeing Machina. Because...

Well. Because maybe there's somebody who needs him, and putting a smile on his face and keeping on going is the right thing to do, at such times. ]

You're not allowed to lift him. [Very pointedly to Izana.] We can get other people to help with that.

[Machina will really kill him if he causes Izana to hurt himself further.]

We always knew we were different from other cadets. Even before becoming Class Zero. [It would have been terrible - though Ace doesn't think it would have stopped them from doing it.] Okay.

[He nods. Life isn't just about being hurt or upset, it's about being happy too.

Laughing and being with people he cares about. Even if Machina would prefer that he didn't.

Yeah. I know I'm not. I want to help, though - I guess helping balance him or something. [ Yeah, okay, maybe this was a little dumb. Izana rubs a hand over his face, then tries to smile again. ]

Let's get him back to the house, then. And then you get dibs on the first hot shower.

[ ... he can try. ]

Good. [He doesn't want to die yet.] You can hook up Chichiri to the cart. I've only saddled chocobos for single person riders.

[Ace will watch how Izana does it so he can do it in the future.]

Okay. [Time to do this.]

Yeah, I can definitely do that.

[ It takes Izana a few moments of examining the cart's gear, before he maneuvers Chichiri just so, and his fingers start working on what's available, tugging on and tightening straps and buckles, to make sure that it won't get loose. Chichiri's tack is not meant exactly for this, but he can make it work. ]

There, I think that should be good.

[ Chichiri herself is not happy with this, but she knows that it's a one-time thing. ]

[Ace watches as Izana hooks Chichiri up to the cart, petting her neck as it's all happening.]

Sorry Chichiri. It'll be over soon.

[Next time he'll ask to borrow someone's wyvern instead. If he didn't think the crystallized forms were heavy, they'd do this differently.]

[ Izana shivers at those words, but he just focuses on what he can do.

Holding Chichiri still while Machina is loaded, and then later unloaded. Helping settle the crystal in their room. Thanking everyone who helped. Then he's back downstairs, trying for a tentative smile at Ace. ]

Thank you. I'll go get Chichiri back to the stable, then come back to see what the other two birds need.

[ Have you even met Kotomi, Ace... ]

[He stands awkwardly in the house, unsure of his presence here. It seems like they live with a lot of other people - none of which Ace knows.]

Okay.

[Not officially but Ace did hear about Chichiri the duck and Kotomi.]

[ Izana squints a little at Ace. ]

Want to go up get a hot shower? We, ah, got a little drenched back there.

[A single shoulder rises a bit.]

Just a towel would be fine.

[Though Ace does move to take off his cloak so it stops dripping everywhere.]

Right. This way.

[ The month is cool enough that Izana doesn't even hesitate in setting the temperature a bit high in the room. Kotomi is usually under a special heating light, anyway. ]

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